The Healing Pathway

A baby is a blank state that needs to create its own understanding of the world.  Environment and personality have a large influence on how the child will develop.

A child sees a spider, and is curious.  The mother screams and grabs the child away from the spider.  The child may experience fear and create a trauma in their memory.  From then on, they see a spider, scream and run away.  They have developed a response that others may think excessive.

A parent puts a child in the cot to sleep and goes to hang out the washing.  The child wakes and cries, but no-one comes.  The child panics and feels abandoned.  This is the beginning of an abandonment trauma.  Later in life someone is late to collect them.  They panic and become very upset, feeling abandoned again.  Perhaps they reject close relationships because they never want to risk being abandoned.

A child has a newborn sibling, and they are no longer the only child, or the baby.  The parents are focused on the new baby and the child wants attention.  Their parents tell them off for being naughty, and send them to their room, or put them in the cot so they can't hurt the new baby.  The child feels rejected, unloved, unwanted.  They withdraw, cry, feel sad.  Later in life, every time someone doesn't include them, they go into a trauma response.

​The child wants a toy and the parent says no.  The child throws a tantrum, screams, demands, and the parent gives in.  The adult wants something and is told no.  They throw a tantrum and sound like a toddler.  Everyone gives in to keep the peace.

When we heal the childhood trauma, the unwanted feelings and behaviours cease to exist.  The adult is no longer triggered and can respond in a more appropriate way.

There is often a repeating pattern generation after generation.  The oldest child has excessive expectations placed upon them to perform better than the other children, the daughter is treated as inferior to the sons.  The parents repeat the patterns of their parents, even though they may not have liked it when it happened to them.

In ancestral trauma, we break these patterns and hand the trauma back to at least 7 previous generations.  It was not the fault of anyone, as they did not know any better.  They were only living the expectation that had been passed down.  Perhaps in the past it was appropriate in the circumstances, or in those times, and was meant for the survival of the child.  But today it is no longer relevant and is placing harm upon the person.

Ancestral trauma often is experienced as conflict between the child and parents.  The adult child may still be angry trying to please their parents, and wanting approval and acceptance, but never feeling it.  Healing this trauma resets the relationship and usually results in a stronger bond forming with the parent.  It can also be done after a parent has passed.

Each culture has developed over many generations to create behaviours, expectations and attitudes that are possibly not relevant today in a global community.  Perhaps it was a culture of strict obedience, a culture of violence and wars, a culture of slavery or abuse.  It may be related to rituals and customs, or it may be related to survival in a difficult environment.  

Understanding culture is important as it is part of our identity.  But choosing the best of our culture and releasing the worst is also important to evolve into a human without trauma.

Breaking the conditioning and associated trauma  of our upbringing is important to free the current generations from their inherited trauma and make informed decisions for themselves.  This is part of the freedom needed to let go of outdated beliefs and habits that are no longer relevant, especially ones that create division.

Religious trauma is similar to cultural trauma in that we inherit it with birth.  Very few religions actually practice what they preach.  Instead they have focused on a business model building market share and punishing those who do not conform.  But we do not see this as we are brought up conditioned into believing that we need to belong to remain safe in the after-life.  They use fear to control.

When people are vulnerable, feeling lost and needing security, they will turn to religion and may even become fanatical in the beliefs of that religion.  Religious leaders will prey on the needs of the vulnerable to take their money and ensure their obedience.  This has happened for thousands of years.  In a small community where there was no where else to go, perhaps it kept the person safe.  But in a global world, there is no place for toxic institutions or belief systems that control.

At the basis of each religion there is a belief system of belonging, love and community.  Each human seeks this.  But then the practice and teachings often distort this into separating us from each other, harming and perhaps even war.  This is not the purpose of religion, but a corruption by men wanting power.

There are many who belong to religions who have pure hearts and intentions.  But we need to learn discernment so that we are not coerced into beliefs and behaviours that are harmful to ourselves and others.  Our freedom to make our own choices and live our own lives is critical to growth and gaining wisdom.

When an institution makes us feel like a sinner, an outcast, or any other negative feeling because we do not conform to their ways, they are traumatising people, which is not the purpose of true religion. 

When practising a religion, there should be no harm, only an expansion of love, community and belonging.  The fundamental beliefs and practices of a religion should align with the beliefs of human rights.

Society of today is patriarchal and often narcissistic.  It is designed to control, manipulate and suppress anyone that disagrees.  Once we recognise this, we realise that we are traumatised on a regular basis when we try to be ourselves and take back our power.  We are told we need to conform to be accepted.

Marketing is one of the greatest narcissists designed to make you feel inferior unless you are buying what they want to sell you.  The way we treat each other is designed to be the most efficient and effective to get what we want.  We do not care if someone else is okay, so long as they perform the role we need them to.

Relationships are transactional, people coming and going from our lives when they no longer serve a purpose.

The legal system, the health system, the education system, the political system are not about creating the best version of humanity.  They have lost their purpose, designed to serve the elite, and create servants of the masses.  Self-interest has led to corruption in all systems.

We have become narcissistic ourselves to survive in a toxic society that does not care about each other.  Not all society is bad, but much of it is toxic and dysfunctional. 

It is important to wake up to how much we have accepted this as normal and change our beliefs and take back our power.  If we want to be free of trauma, we need to create a trauma-free environment.

We live many lives and the memories of these can carry into our current life, especially the terrible ones.  Many lives end in violence and this can carry into a current life as a fear or phobia.  A birth mark can be the mark of the injury that caused the death.  A fear of water, can be the memory of drowning.  An aversion to things around the neck, can be the result of having been hanged or strangled.  

We often have irrational fears that we cannot remember a basis for.  Regression is the way to discover these fears and release them.  They may be past lives or childhood, but they need to be released to stop being triggered by them.

We can begin a lesson in a past life and carry it into this life.  The journey may include the same people and experiences of past lives, repeating in this life.  When we understand this, we realise that regressing to childhood is not enough to heal the trauma.  Past life regression may be required.

Our ancestors had it tough sometimes.  They lived through wars, famines, natural disasters and many environmental challenges that can change the genes over time.  This is a natural form of adaptation.  But in today's world, this adaptation may not be helpful.  In the past, a response of aggression may have been what saved their life, but today it gets them locked up in prison.  There can be an intermix of genetic, ancestral and cultural trauma.  But genetic may also be a natural predisposition of shyness, avoiding conflict, and resilience to stress.

You may find trauma more significant in cultures that have been constantly at war over thousands of years, or predominantly in slavery, harsh environments or poverty.  The fear response is inbuilt into their genes.

The historical trauma may have become a medical condition that is passed on genetically.  Conditions such as breast cancer, and other genetic disorders or markers that are carried down through the generations began with a mutation in an ancestor as a result of a traumatic event.

Why do some cultures naturally thrive, whilst others expect to live in poverty and submission?  Is it cultural, genetic, religious or ancestral trauma that holds them back?

Loss is a natural part of life, but understanding and accepting loss is more difficult for some, especially when there are a series of significant losses and they are not dealt with adequately at the time.  Sometimes there can be a combination of losses in a short period of time and this is too overwhelming.

There is a natural grieving process that ends in acceptance.  But not everyone gets to move through this, or receive the help to do this, at the time.  The loss can be held onto, or it can be suppressed and rise up later.

Loss in itself is a trauma.  It is a loss of identity, as you associated that person, job, relationship, thing with part of yourself.  When the loss of identity is so significant and you have nothing to replace it with, loss can be overwhelming.  You may see this with breakdown in a marriage, where one person does not know how to be single and rebuild their life afterwards.  Or the loss of a job, where that job was your life and you don't know how to do anything else.  

Identity is who we are.  When we lose a part of that, we need to work through not only accepting the loss, but rebuilding a new identity for ourselves.

Loss of loved ones in death is very hard, because there may be unfinished business.  Being able to reconnect with that person is important and this can be done in the subconscious through hypnotherapy.  You can book a session here