Stress
Emotions are the internal communication system of the person. They are charged with energy and stored as feelings, memories and beliefs. We express our beliefs through our thoughts.
From birth you are conditioned, coerced and manipulated to conform, behave as others want, and fulfill other's expectations. To be successful in society, you need to meet its expectations in your looks, behaviours and actions.
When we disagree, there is conflict. When we do what we do not want to do, there is internal conflict. When we are not true to ourselves, we feel terrible. But most of this conflict is because we are trying to live by their rules and expectations which are not true to us.
Awakening is understanding that we are not them, and we should not be doing what they want. This is our life, and we can choose how we want to live it. The Letting Go process is releasing all the conditioning, expectations, and trauma that they have inflicted upon us. We do not need to make others happy. We only need to make ourselves happy. The self-actualisation is when you love yourself unconditionally and are authentic. When we are truly free to be who we want to be, we realise that we are a pretty amazing person, full of love to give to others, , kindness and compassion. We respect ourselves and others equally. We cause no harm and tolerate none to ourselves.
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Stress is energy, and affects our mind and body. This leads to physical and mental illness. Most cancers began with blockages in the energy of the body caused by stress. Most autoimmune diseases began as stress. Bad eating and lifestyle habits began as stress. All mental illness began as stress. Stress releases cortisol and when this is chronic, it puts our hormone system out of balance. This affects our weight, our mental acuity, our moods, our ability to cope, our libido, and our reproductive fertility. It also results in cancer in these hormone based organs. Stress is the number one killer in modern society.
Individual transformation - I love and accept myself completely
We began loving ourselves, but then life happened and slowly we changed. The journey is to return to this state of love but with a lot more wisdom. This is the first step in healing yourself and thus healing humanity.
If you do not have healthy love for yourself, you cannot have healthy love for others. Relationships reflect your own relationship with your inner self.
This journey takes you on a path inwards, letting go of trauma and suffering. It leads to happiness, joy and bliss.
There are many spiritual leaders, psychiatrists and psychologists that can help you understand how you have been conditioned and help you to Let Go. The resources page will help you find their wisdom.
Below is the breakdown of the pathway to learning to love yourself, and I have developed courses to help you with this. But trauma is harder to let go of, and this is where the services of counselling and hypnotherapy can help.
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The pathway to self-love
How did I become me?
We begin our lesson with certain characteristics at birth - genetics and personality traits that will bias our development.
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We are then conditioned by our environment - our family, school, friends, social environment. These are the skills we need for survival, and the challenges we need to overcome.
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We are controlled by the expectations of the external world, and to survive we adopt identities in which we role play our parts.
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Trauma happens along the way and we bookmark it in our memory if we cannot deal with it. This sits there as triggers waiting for us to react instead of respond. It causes our pain and dysfunction.
Relationships - Lessons about love
We seek connection and love from birth. Basically we want to be happy, safe, loved, content. We experience love and the loss of love through relationships. The lessons we came here for are about love and when it goes wrong.
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Relationships are with others, with things, but most importantly with ourselves. If we cannot love and accept ourselves, how can others love and accept us? We compensate by co-dependent relationships. These may turn toxic and then we are harmed or harm others. We need to know when a relationship has expired or is unhealthy.
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Love is wonderful, but we also need to understand loss, rejection, neglect, abandonment. We need to be able to grieve and move on. This is the letting go process which includes forgiveness and gratitude.
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External vs Internal
The external world controls our perception of our self and we develop limiting beliefs such as not good enough, not deserving, no value. Self-love is connecting with our soul and realising your full value and potential.
The strongest relationship is your one with your soul. This will guide you in your lessons, help you on your path, and teach you about divine love.
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When we allow the external world to dictate our identities, we are not authentic. We seek validation from others and this makes us vulnerable to being controlled and manipulated. We get caught up in the drama.
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There are three levels in life - drama, external and internal. Think of playing a footy game - the game is the drama, the coach is the external telling you what to do, and you are the internal deciding how you want to play. Many people live in the drama looking for direction and bouncing off each command yelled in their direction. Some follow the coaches instructions blindly, thinking this is best but they learn nothing for themselves. Authenticity is when you step back, listen to the coach, assess the game and make your own decisions.
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Your internal world has a wealth of experience and knowledge from this and past lives to assist. It has a team of your own soul and guides and mentors that can advise you. It intuitively is on a higher level of wisdom than any external source. It can filter the drama to let you know when to participate and when to watch or withdraw. It will guide you through your lessons and challenges and help you overcome any trauma without holding onto harm.
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You are love energy from the divine source, wanting to express yourself as a complete and unique human being. External challenges this as part of your lessons. Your internal helps you regain balance and live in harmony with the external environment.
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Trauma, suffering, illness and addictions
Traumatic events may be as serious as abuse or it may be something someone once said to you. Trauma happens when you feel harmed. This is stored in the memory and affects your beliefs, your feelings and your behaviours. In hypnotherapy, we find an inner child in the subconscious that is attached to childhood events that left unresolved harm.
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Lessons often involve a potential traumatic event. If the lesson is learned, the trauma disappears as it is resolved. However, if the lesson is not learned, it repeats, possibly escalating each time, until you are forced to deal with the trauma. This is called shadow work.
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Trauma is not always a lesson, but may be a path correction, directing you into a new life path. It usually creates pain and suffering of some type and eases when we learn the lesson or change path. Often, in hindsight, we see the trauma as a blessing.
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However, until we resolve the trauma, we feel pain. If unbearable, we develop coping mechanisms. These include addictions, personality disorders, physical and mental illness. When we cannot tolerate the pain any longer, we may exit through suicide. This is not part of the lesson plan. Some souls have been so traumatised that they need to receive special care in the soul world when they leave this world. This was not the creators intention, but free will has allowed the trauma to escalate when humans override their connection to each other.
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We are energy beings, and when our energy is sluggish or blocked, we become ill. This may be physical or mental illness. It begins by feeling uncomfortable about something, and then grows to anxiety or distress. This is the basis of energy work for healing. Many preventative and self-care teachings are based on restoring energy flow. If this is not done, energy blocks become chronic illness and eventually cancer. The current practice of medicine of treating symptoms with medication does not address the energy blockages, and so the blockage manifests in a different way, escalating each time. Medicine must treat the root cause to be effective.
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What does self-love look like?
When I completely and deeply love and accept myself I am connected to the internal. I have boundaries that do not allow others to harm me, and I have no desire or need to harm others, as I am living in love.
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I am healthy or working towards this state with the right nutrition for my body and positive mindfulness. I feel good, live well, and am happy.
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My work is enjoyable as I am doing what I love. My relationships are fulfilling and never toxic. I have let go of everything that does not serve my wellbeing, and so some people and things are no longer in my life. If I do interact with unhealthy relationships, I have the boundaries to protect me and so I will never be harmed.
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My energy is amazing, and I attract amazing things into my life, including like-minded people. I only desire what I need and it comes easily. I live in abundance which means I have what I need when I need it.
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I am oblivious to the drama and external expectations. I access these as appropriate for me, but never get lost in them. My authentic self is true and strong and will always direct my thoughts and actions. I am free.
What is spiritual counselling and hypnotherapy?
Spiritual counselling and coaching is helping you to achieve self-love. You can read all the books, do the courses and listen to the gurus, but sometimes you may need help to apply this. That is what the counselling and coaching does. Sometimes you may just want to talk as this helps you make sense. Other times you want help setting goals in what to change and how. It is a journey that can take time, and getting help may be what you need to get to the end of that journey.
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Hypnotherapy is different as it accesses the subconscious. It begins with some therapy to understand what changes are needed. But then in the subconscious we can do the healing work. It may be resolving trauma, helping the inner child to reintegrate, talking to people (alive and passed) to understand the traumatic event, bringing in your guides to help you understand the lesson or path correction. It may be healing of the energy blockages. It may be changing habits that you no longer want. It may be seeking guidance on your life path. You will only be able to access what you are ready for, and it cannot harm you if done by a professional.
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There are many people working in the spiritual healing space now, and it is important to choose people that are genuine. If you feel uncomfortable with the person, or feel that you are being pressured, they are not the right person for you. Healing is a place of love and only love can heal. You must go through this journey at your own pace. The person helping you is a facilitator only. Your inner self is the healer. We create the safe space for you to access your inner self, heal and transform.
Where do I find more information?
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Blogs - you will find more information from me in the Blogs. I have grouped these into collections by topic.
Resources - there are links here for people and places of interest related to this topic.
Courses - there are a combination of free and low costs courses based around the transformation process.
Services - when you are ready and if you want personalised help, you can book sessions in Spiritual Counselling and Coaching and/or Hypnotherapy. These are available via Zoom.